In someone else’s story, we are a villain. Despite this, we must know our own truth. Knowing is not enough, however.
In addition to knowing our experience, we must also give ourselves back to ourselves. We must reclaim our lives back from the people, places, and even the very things that bring out the victimhood in us, even if our biggest obstacle is our inner critic.
Learning how to talk back lovingly but assertively to the voice inside that tells us we are undeserving, too lazy, too noisy, too loud, too much – is, therefore, an indispensable key to living life wholly again.
Validation of self is far more effective than validation from another. We won’t always have someone there in the flesh to make us feel good. We won’t (or don’t) always have a lover to tell us how beautiful, priceless and intelligent we are.
Self-love begins the moment we realize we don’t need someone to tell us we poop gold because we already know we do.
Losing everything when your resources are already quite limited can feel as if life’s just shoving you in a locker for fun. The times that we feel as though we’ve had our teeth kicked in seem to go on and on with no end in sight. No matter how pretty the lights are or how slow the carousel spins, we’re bound to get dizzy.
We’re stripped bare, with our egos exposed, ashamed of what we find; forgetting that our insides are beautiful. We forget that we were born naked, vulnerable, and helpless. This did not make us any less valuable. In fact, our innocence was embraced.
Maybe you’re experiencing this season of toothlessness at this moment. If you are, I’d like to gently remind you that dentures exist for a reason, and I’m more than happy to pop those bad boys right in there for you until your adult teeth feel safe enough to push their way through your cotton candy gums. Let us not forget that toothless grins are innocent and beautiful.
If life is kicking your ass and leaving your smile bloody, grin as wide as the Cheshire cat. A little blood won’t scare love off. Love after loss is the building block to rebirth. Love cultivates that which has been untended and overlooked. Love is stronger than the vines that grew over the soul.
Love is the foundation that makes starting over worth it. If the pain of life and the loss that will inevitably reach all of us is the price we pay for strengthening the love that surrounds us, then with all sincerity I say to you: grow, my friend. Grow and pay no mind to the dirt.
You may have been buried alive for a long time. You may have eaten dirt and mistaken it for fudge, simply because you desired it.
You may have packed your truth so deep down inside because you loved them. You loved them so much that you’d devour the soil that was meant for your growth just so they could heal. You tried to heal them. That is why you are worthy. That is why I know you’ll grow just as you were meant to, and now you’ll have more love left for you.