Step 1: We Admitted That Our Lives Had Become Unmanagable

I did it. Tonight, I joined a Codependents Anonymous Support Group, otherwise known as Coda. I am codependent to a larger degree than I had thought. I also don't know where all of this shame is coming from, but I'm happy that I've taken the initiative. I've known that I was codependent on an intellectual … Continue reading Step 1: We Admitted That Our Lives Had Become Unmanagable

10:43 P.M.

My house looks emptier as the days roll on. No kidding, I've gotten rid of almost everything except my tapestries, and my desk (which I plan on trading in for a smaller one). Of course, I still use my laptop to write to you on here. If you've been following me since I vowed to … Continue reading 10:43 P.M.

The first smile

the first time she smiled at me/it felt like her smile was forbidden/She buried her face in my pillow and she laughed as she bared her fangs/she never used them as a weapon with me/and I felt like I was one with the pack/Age wasn't a factor and we/ fell in love starting from my … Continue reading The first smile

Indigo

There’s always been someone there when I felt like I wanted to end my life. Giving up is harder than pushing forward when there are these indigo children just like you, begging you to listen. So I do. I do not mean indigo children as in ancient aliens or the oval-shaped dudes on spaceships. I … Continue reading Indigo

Sometimes I forget

Time moves on, and I have held on Still, I will weep for the child That got lost in the abyss.I can feel the ache in meWhen I think back to all those homesThat I could not escapeI was too old at eighteen.I left with nothing.____________________________I am twenty-six now, and sometimes I forget my age.I forget that … Continue reading Sometimes I forget

About Yesterday

Yesterday, I did not turn around.There was some comment About how I'm a blonde now, But, I'm not."It's bleach,"I let you pretendThat our house wasn't on fire."Do you like it?"You ask this in a way that reminds me  you like to make my mouth your favorite fishing spot."It's whatever," I've learned a lot about lying from … Continue reading About Yesterday