To you, Sweet Baby
I cant seem to smoothly connect with you in person, to no fault of your own. My baby, I know that you’re trying. It pains me a bit to know that I love you on paper, more than I do right beside you.
Still, when I am gone, I will leave my writing to you, since all of this was inspired by you, and written for you, by me in the first place.
I love you. I admire you. These words will never suffice, because my anxiety, and codependent thoughts get in the way.
I really appreciate you.
Seven years. We’ve been through your gender transition, the loss of our only biological child, our family stepped out quietly. And I’m not the greatest at coping with Cerebral Palsy.
You still bathe me. You still clothe me.
You still hold me. You hold me when rent is past due; when the debts are high and the accounts are low, you still hold me. You believe I am worthy to be embraced.
You play Stardew Valley with me. You make time for me.
You believe I taught you what love was, simply because I stay; when it is you teaching me how to love – calmly, steadfastly, and quietly.
I love you always.