Making the decision to lose everything or live in ridicule is never a choice a human should have to make, even if they are ‘queer’.
I’m in a situation that I realize is far better than half of the universe. I’m not sleeping under a bridge, I’ve been able to pay my water and light bill, and I’m not starving.
To keep a long story short, I’ve applied to at least fifty or so jobs in the last 2 weeks, and I’ve heard nothing back.
My wife and I are basically left with nothing after years of anxiety-ridden days of having no choice but to coexist (interact?) with people who admittedly said they would never accept us.
Money was at stake, but eventually, it became blood money, and there was no way we could hide anymore.
I realize what we gave up. I realize that money leads to open doors, but I also will not sacrifice my soul for it. That’s essentially what we were asked to do. Hide, or be hidden.
Finding a job with a disability is excruciating. It is painful. If entrepreneurship were not a thing, I don’t know where we would be.
My wife took on three courier jobs, delivering food. She’s made thirteen dollars so far.
I am a volunteer for a crisis line, and I was hoping to find a job from home. I haven’t found anything yet.
So, I got a little bit creative and started this blog up again, which has proven to be emotionally fulfilling, and I’m genuinely happy to be here. I’m also hoping to start a podcast under the same name (welcomehomehealing).
I’ve got some school money to carry us through, but I can’t lie and say I’m not apprehensive about the future. But the funny thing is, I’m not scared even though I’m staring poverty in the face.
I’m no stranger to it. I’ve been here before. I’m only hurt because my wife deserves better. Helplessness (not being able to help those you love most) is far worse than empty pockets or the sting of betrayal.
At the same time, I’m at peace with where we are. We are free, though it came at a large price. I’ve made the decision to put my all into this blog; into all of my art, and not looking back. I’ve decided to grow wings from this time in our life, and I’m doing my best to be grateful for it.
I’m excited to tell you, the reader, stories about where we are, where we hope to be and walk with you on this journey. I am not afraid. I have spent far too long in fear.
***If you are transgender, gay, a person of color, or disabled, or if you face discrimination in any way, please know that your qualities that differentiate you from others are also the ones that make you beautiful, even though you don’t feel that way at this moment. If you suffer or have suffered at the hands of a loved one, my heart is forever with you.***
I love you. There is a place for you. If nothing else, please feel free to take comfort and find a home in this blog. This is why I affectionately named it “Welcome Home” or “welcomehomehealing”.
Please, if you are reading this, no matter who you are or where you are, don’t lose sight of who you are. Don’t ever give up. Life has so much in store for both of us.
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